Taking Control Over My Life

Question

i in the past turned the other cheek to my tormentors and so hurt my family i cannot reson well when it comes to making decision and always been kind to people i meet what is god trying to prove i just wanted to make my family happy and i failed the guilt and shame wearing me down while the tormentors laugh and feel happy with my situation

Answer

We are surrounded by the people, things and circumstances that we need to transform ourselves and grow on our spiritual path.

The best indication of the areas in life you need to grow is to look for the areas in life you feel powerless and lack full self-expression. Another good indication is the "victim" mentality that externalizes the responsibility for your situation and places it on somebody or something outside of you.

In your case, it seems clear that you want to take care of and provide for your family. I can assure you that you already have everything you need, and you already ARE everything you need to BE in order to achieve that. What you are missing is faith in yourself - you need to fully believe that it is in your power to achieve that goal, NO MATTER what the circumstances are and NO MATTER what anybody says, thinks or does.

In order to achieve that you must prepare yourself and strengthen yourself, since unfortunately it must get "worse" before it can get "better", and by that I don't mean the external circumstances but rather your inner view of yourself and the world.

You are currently suffering, feeling guilt and shame for not being able to take care of your family. However, you still find comfort by blaming your "tormentors".

If you are indeed ready to take back control over your life, you must change this story. You must understand that these "tormentors" were invited into your life by YOU, since you unconsciously, on an energetic level, wanted to be presented with opportunities to transform specific qualities and aspects of your personality and characters. These "tormentors" are your teachers and your mirrors - they DO NOT define who you are, they are simply showing you the "ugly" truth.

When you realize that - which may take days or even weeks of reflection and meditation - your suffering will shift into pain, as you slowly assume responsibility for your current situation. The sensation may be as uncomfortable as what you're feeling now, but underneath and along side it it you will start to develop the understanding and the faith in your ability to shift and change the situation. When you understand you are the cause for where you are, you will also understand you have the power to change it.

So the next part of the process would be to break through the pain, the shame and the guilt and start being proactive and responsible in the way you manage your life, and specifically in the way you provide and protect your family.

The "good" news is that you already have everything you need, and the only thing you're missing is to go through the process and grow spiritually.

The "bad" news is that there is no way around the challenging and uncomfortable parts of the process, the only way is through, so you'll have to create support mechanisms such as find a life coach or a therapist, a friend you trust that can share this process with you, books, workshops and other tools.

Speaking of tools, I recommend using the following:

  • Personal Power Amulet - to support your journey and increase your ability to deal with and process difficult situations (internal and external).
  • Amulet Against Evil Eye - to protect against and reduce the effects of other people's negative thoughts about you
  • and Red String Bracelet - I would get at least one for you, and possibly one for each one of your family members.

In addition, I recommend a daily meditation practice (either in the morning when you wake up or in the evening before you go to bed, and ideally both), and focus on developing inner strength and on strengthening an attitude of gratitude and gratefulness. If you're having trouble meditating or you've never done it before, get yourself a guided meditation CD and simply listen to it with your eyes closed.

In addition, physical exercise can help as well, since you would want a stronger body that would hold and support your stronger will power and character.

You are facing an uphill journey, and it won't be easy or fun. However, as you can already understand, the alternative is way worse. If you are persistent and committed to this process, you will break through to the other side, and the reward will be amazing - much more than what you can visualize now.

I wish you strength and success on your journey.

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