Is he the one for me?

Question

I been with my kids father for 9yrs. And we have the same problems over and over. But we seem to be so compatible is he the one for me! I just broke up with him two days ago. Is he the one for me I need help!

Answer

There is a lesson for you here. There is something here for you to learn about yourself. In that sense, he is the right person for you, since he will always be who he is, and by being himself, he will create the reality in which you are presented with the opportunity to learn that thing about yourself.

At the same time, you are always going to be who you are, and who you are presents an opportunity for him to learn what he needs to learn. In that sense, you are perfect for each other.

So there are three possible outcomes:

  1. You will continue to play this painful moth & light game forever - in that case you will continue to be perfect for each other.
  2. One of you will get their lesson while the other one refuses - in that case you will break up
  3. Both of you will be able to evolve at around the same time - in that case you will continue to be perfect for each other, but on a higher level. This is what you should aspire for.

My advice to you is to focus on getting your lesson. If you can afford it, find a therapist or a life coach. If you can't, read books and talk to your friends, and make sure you don't choose the friends that tell you that you're right, but the ones that tell you the truth.

The important thing is not to make neither of you wrong. Don't make him wrong for he does, and don't blame yourself for what you think you're unable to do. Focus your attention on finding an answer to this question: "How am I being, such that I am creating this reality?" or, in other words: "How do I need to be, in order to create for myself the reality I want to have?"

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