Early Sexual Experience


I'm J. and I'm a boy who's eighteen years old.

Lately (one and a half week ago), me and my girlfriend (we're together for just a few weeks) have had sex for the first time. And I remember right after that, I got this certain pain in my stomach. It went over so I didn't say anything about it.

The days before my girlfriend had messaged me continuously, saying that she loved me, and if I didn't answer immediately, she started to panic, thinking that I didn't love her. She also told me that she had just had a depression some time ago and she said she still cries almost every day, even when really small things went wrong. She was very sensitive to anything happening around her. I, on the other hand, used to be quite indifferent if things went wrong. I used to be quite optimistic and happy most of the time. Anyway, I did love her and I still do.

But the day after we had sex, everything changed. As strange as it might seem, my girlfriend started to be indifferent towards me. From that moment, she sent me less messages, I was the one messaging all the time. And at the same time, the pain in my stomach came back and I was feeling depressive like I'd never felt before. I started to cry, even for small things. Especially if she didn't answer I started to panic. This has been going on for more than a week now and I'm getting desperate. I get this depressive moments all the time, although I never had them before.

I was wondering if it could be possible, that during sex, some of our personality traits got somehow carried over. That's why I've told you this, I'd like to know what exactly happened, as I can't explain it as some kind of psychological effect. I'm sure it's something deeper that was changed and carried over.

If you would have any idea what exactly happened and how I can get it back just like it was, please let me know. I really need your help.

Thank you in advance,


We are spiritual entities that chose to experience life by occupying this physical body for a while. Before being born, we carefully selected and constructed all the different elements of our lives, including the good things and the bad, our parents, our relationships etc. At the moment of birth, an angel touched us and made us forget all that we know, so that we can have a first-hand pure experience.

As we live our lives, we are presented with infinite possibilities and opportunities to experience growth, and many of these opportunities are manifested through relationships, and especially intimate relationship. The intensity of an intimate relationship on all levels - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - triggers all kind of different reactions inside of us, and the way we deal, handle and manage these reactions (or in other words, our chosen thoughts, words and action) determine the level of growth we take away from this experience.

Understanding that provides a more powerful way to look at, examine and evaluate people and situations around you.

Your girlfriend was chosen by you before you were born, to present to you with an opportunity to learn something about yourself and be a better human being for that. It could be a single lesson, or it could be a life-long teaching. It is up to you, if you choose to take the spiritual path, to find out, and above all, to develop your faith that whatever happens happens for a reason.

Specifically to your question, there is an exchange taking place between people all the time. Ideas, thoughts, words, odors, colors are being offered and received constantly, and very often change both the given and the receiver to some degree. A similar thing happens on a spiritual or energetic level. It is not her personality or character that was "transferred" into you, but it is you who somehow changed as a reaction of having sexual relationships.

Change is often scary, since it's a transition from the "known" to the "unknown". For a spiritual person, change is a synonym to growth opportunity, because only when things are in motion there is room and opportunity for growth.

So my advice to you is to stay away from judging and interpreting what happened, but rather observe it as objectively as possible, note to yourself how you're feeling, what you're thinking etc., and constantly ask yourself: what is my lesson? how can I take what happened / is happening and understand it in a way that will empower me and make me a better person than I was the day before?

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License